


Monster

by JMount74



Series: Conversations: Pen & Ink Week 2020 [4]
Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27396754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JMount74/pseuds/JMount74
Summary: They are both monstrous in their own ways.
Relationships: Penelope Creighton-Ward/Gordon Tracy
Series: Conversations: Pen & Ink Week 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996876
Comments: 6
Kudos: 10





	Monster

Penny?  
Yes, Gordon?  
Can I, uh, ask you a question?  
Yes, Gordon.  
Er…why is Lil baking biscuits?  
Biscuits, Gordon? I wasn’t aware that she was making biscuits.  
Yeah, beautiful fluffy biscuits. Made my mouth water at the thought of eating them.  
Well, I’m sure she won’t mind you having some.

Gordon?  
Yes, Penny?  
I thought that you called biscuits cookies.  
Oh, I do.  
So what are biscuits to you?  
Um…the things that Lil is baking.  
That’s not very helpful, Gordon.  
Sorry, Pen. I don’t know what you call them in England.

Gordon?  
Yes, Penny?  
Why are your scones smothered in gravy?  
Scones? These are biscuits. That’s how we eat them in America. How do you eat them?  
We eat scones with jam and cream.  
Penny, that’s just absolutely monstrous.

P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I

Penny?  
Yes, Gordon?  
Would you like a cup of tea?  
Thank you, Gordon, that would be most welcome.

Ok, Pen. I can make tea.  
Are you sure, Gordon?  
Yeah, I’m sure.  
Did you warm the pot before putting the hot water in?  
Err…  
Did you at least make sure to put in one teaspoon of tea per person and one for the pot?  
Err…  
Please tell me you did not use the tea bags!  
Err…  
Oh, Gordon. Whatever will I do with you?  
Don’t worry Pen, I’ll try again.

Here we go, Pen.  
Thank you, Gordon.  
I made it just as you said.  
Wonderful!  
Even though it looks and smells exactly the same as the other tea.  
You’re just a heathen, Gordon.  
I know, Pen, I know. Let me pour for you.  
Thank yo….GORDON!  
What!  
You monster! You never put the milk in first!  
Sorry, Pen. Maybe I should leave the tea-making to you.  
That’s alright, darling, but yes. Leave it to me.

P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I

Penny?  
Yes, Gordon?  
Can I ask a question about Parker?  
Of course you can, Gordon.  
Is he alright?  
I may need a little more information here, darling.  
He just gave me a beer.  
Alright. Still going to need a bit more detail than that.  
It was warm.  
Warm?  
Yes, from the case not from the fridge.  
And that is a problem, is it?  
Penny, I love you and all that, but you just cannot drink warm beer.  
I love you too, Gordon, but what has warm beer got to do with anything?  
Beer should be served chilled, not warm.  
Ah. I do believe that I cannot help you here. You may need to talk to Parker about this one.  
I can’t talk to Parker.  
And why not? Have you given Parker another funny turn?  
No! He snatched the beer back off me and put it in the fridge muttering all the time about how I am a monster for not appreciating a decent British ale.  
Hmm. You know something, darling?  
What’s that, Pen?  
I do believe, in this instance, that Parker may well be right.  
Well, thank you very much, Penny!  
You’re welcome, darling.

P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I

Gordon?  
Yes, Penny?  
What are you doing?  
Err…eating cheese?  
Are you asking me if you are eating cheese?  
No, no. I’m telling you.  
And why does your ‘cheese’ come in a can?  
Um…because it’s squirty?  
Squirty?  
Yeah. It’s easier to eat.  
And should you be eating it straight from the can?  
Well, um, probably not the best way.

Would you like to try some?  
Some of your cheese?  
Yes.  
Your canned cheese?  
Yes.  
That you squirt straight into your mouth?  
Yes.  
Thank you for your thoughtful offer.  
But?  
But no thank you. I will stick with cheese that you can slice.  
Oh. Ok, Pen, but you don’t know what you’re missing.  
Oh, I rather think I do.  
Pen, there’s no need to shudder like that.  
Gordon. I love you dearly, but that food idea is monstrous.

P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I P&I

Penny?  
Yes, Gordon?  
What is this?  
What is what, darling?  
This – this thing on my roast dinner.  
The Yorkshire pudding?  
If that’s what it is called then yes.  
Darling, Yorkshire Pudding is a staple of the British roast.  
Ok, but what is it?  
I believe Lilian looked it up in case you questioned it, and you Americans call them Popovers.  
Yeah, love a good helping of popovers, but they tend to be single items, not what looks like a slice from a tray bake.  
Gordon.  
Yes, Penny?  
It is the same thing, just baked in one big tray rather than individual portions. Stop poking it with your fork and try it.  
Ok Penny.

For the record, Pen.  
Yes, Gordon?  
You Brits eat some weird sh…stuff.  
Ah. I believe us Brits could say the same about you Americans.  
Touché, Penny. Touché.

**Author's Note:**

> TIF (Tea In First) or MIF (Milk In First) is an eternal debate in Britain. But since the Royal Butler exclusively revealed the Queen has TIF, that is what I have gone with here.
> 
> Originally, milk was put into bone china cups first to prevent them from shattering from the heat of the tea, but they are no longer made so fragile, and so the milk debate rages on.


End file.
